A Disagreeable Man
Written by Peter Clay for our February 1989 Newsletter
…or, “Thank Goodness He’s Not in Our Club!”
Inspired by offerings in other publications, your Secretary has turned to songwriting, with a little help from W. S. Gilbert! I didn’t see why other clubs should have all the fun, so here goes. The tune, by the way, comes from Act 1 of Princess Ida.
If you’ll give me your attention I will tell you what I am —
I’m the genuine Meccanoman — all other kinds are sham
Each little fault of detail and constructional defect
In my erring fellow modellers I endeavour to correct.
To slipping differential gears I open people’s eyes
And plans to outlaw Argentine Meccano I devise
I love my fellow modellers — I do all the good I can
But everybody says I’m such a disagreeable man
And I can’t think why!
To experts on escapements I’ve a withering reply
And spotting sawn-off axle rods is always worth a try
A jamming, squeaking gearbox I will threaten to dissect
And non-standard roller bearings I’m delighted to detect.
I know all the pre-war mechanisms and each model book
For discrepancies between these and your models I will look
But to benefit enthusiasts however much I plan
Yet everybody says I’m such a disagreeable man
And I can’t think why!
I’m sure I’m not unpleasant, I’m as helpful as can be
I’m ready to expose all Märklin parts that I can see
All drilled-out gears and filed-off strips do not escape my eye
A re-spray job or Whiston bolt I gleefully espy.
To ashtray tyres and yard-long plates I know a thing or two
While replicas of lighting sets, I’ll soon point out to you.
My hobby I adore — I know I help it all I can
Yet everybody says I’m such a disagreeable man
And I can’t think why!
Well — I’m not letting him near any of my models!